Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Whoops.
Me: I'm sorry to hear about the bill situation.
Mom: Yes. Nasty Africans.
Me: Mom! That's racist. And by the way, your tenants were Arabs, not Africans.
Mom: Arab is part of the African continent what.
Me: No, mom. It's in the Middle East.
Mom: Oh, ok then. Nasty Arab girls.
Mom has got to learn that the word 'nasty' has got a cruddy connotation in the 21st century, especially when paired with the term 'girls'.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Perfect
In what ways, can I tell you that you could be perfect for me?
That you have a wonderful laugh?
That you're amazingly committed?
That our paths could have crossed in so many ways?
That seeing you just makes me happy?
And that, if only you knew.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
The Hoot
Some people just cannot help informing others about the jealous-worthy events in their lives.
I don't care if you have an awesome social circle.I don't care if you have spectacular events that you go to.
I don't care if have 1,196 friends on Facebook.
I don't care if you have every guy in town at your beck and call.
I don't care if you turned George Clooney down on a date.
Frankly, I really don't give a hoot about what you do and who you do it with. So would you please kindly, shut up.
Seriously.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Confucius say, "Shit happens."
Some people just lack the sensitivity chip. Or, they are just socially inept.
A: You can't fit a size 8.
Me: I know. I'm a size 12.
A: I'm a size 0.
Me: I can see that.
A: I'm much, much thinner than you are.
Me: Gee, no kidding.
A: You know, you can, like, go on a diet. An intensive diet.
Me: Or, you know, you can, like, fuck off.
A: I'm born with good genes. I don't need to diet.
Me: ...
A: I'm a size 0.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Big "Bang" Theory?
Well, here's a funny story.
After two months of being hopelessly hooked on the relatively obscure TV series, Big Bang Theory, it frustrated me to no end that after all these while, I still couldn't decide between Leonard and Sheldon. As to which was, for the lack of a better term, hotter.
(L: Dr. Leonard Hofstadter; R: Dr. Sheldon Cooper)
After observing this unnerving behaviour of mine for a couple more webisodes, I started to notice a trend. Apparently, my see-sawing preference between Leonard and Sheldon was not random and whimsical. No. It had a more deep-rooted, Biological reason:
My alternating attraction to the lead male casts of BBT mirrored the contrasting phases of my menstrual cycle.
Yup. Apparently, BBT was like a litmus test to my pre/post-ovulatory sexual preference. All I needed was a laptop, the internet and BBT (and of course, a functioning hypothalamus). And I found out, that during the pre-ovulatory phases (two months' worth of BBT is a pretty poor sample size but I'll give it a shot), I was more drawn towards the Leonard character. And then, after swooning over Leonard for a couple more webisodes (across a period of 2 weeks or less), bam! Suddenly, Sheldon's hot. And that's when I'll know I'm done ovulating.
Pretty awesome, eh?
(Disclaimer: This is a pretty pointless observation, with no actual proven scientific backing and hence, should be taken with a pinch of salt. And sorry that I made numerous references to my menstrual cycle. It was uncalled for, I know.)
Sunday, November 09, 2008
You.
I dreamt of you yet again.
I don't know your name, neither do I know how you look like. Heck, I don't even know if you exist! But in my dream, there you were standing right next to me, breathing in the same air. I know I've met you before, somewhere in time. It's weird, i know. And somehow, i kinda get the feeling that you're out there, 'knowing' me too.
Who are you? No. I think the question should be 'Where are you?'
It would be a pity, if I carried on not meeting you in this lifetime. Wouldn't you feel that it would be such a waste of breaths and heartbeats? To have lived a life and not getting to know the person you've been dreaming about? And i'm not talking about daydreams, which are merely bullshit fantasies. I'm talking about full-blown, subconscious-fueled , interpretation-hungry d-r-e-a-m-s. The ones where you wake up from, wondering if you've left a life (albeit a more meaningful one) behind.
You had these hands that would hold onto mine so tightly, it was as if you knew you and I were in a dream and that you'd lose me again if i woke up. I held on too. We were running, through a labyrinth of corridors and alleyways. And you did not, for once, turn and look back. You kept running and I followed.
We were always running in my dreams. What were we running away from? What were we running towards?
We finally came to a place surrounded by people. Your friends, i presumed. We were suddenly not running anymore. Yet, you held on and i clung onto you for dear life. I stood there, drinking in your smell, your presence, while you mingled.
Am I going crazy? Are you only a fragment of my imagination? ('Fragment' would be an understatement at this point.)
My questions beg to be answered.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Finally
I finally saw you. You. For who you are, who you have been all these while.
I can't say that i'm absolutely certain about what you've said. What you've written.
I'm merely guessing.
But if i'm right and if it's true,
then, yes.
I miss you too.
